Retail manager, go-go dancer, and underwear aficionado, Jay transitioned from a shy boy into an outgoing performer.
And by night?
I do go-go dancing and stripping on the side. I perform under the name of Dakota Brennen.
So you’re not just the 9-5 kinda guy. What’s stripping like?
I love it—being in my underwear, having fun, socializing. Plus it makes a nice fit for some extra money.
Do you obsess about body image at all or are you pretty confident?
I’ve always been your average guy, fairly skinny, short, no muscle tone…often times with a little extra flab or weight in the midsection. Even as a performer in an industry where body image is super relevant, I still struggle with my body. I want to get better, I want to look hotter, have a better body. Who doesn’t?
True, except you’re on stage. Is that a difficult balance—wanting a perfect body and stripping?
People actually like me a lot as a performer and person because of that. I’m not perfectly chiseled, right out of a magazine or movie. I hope that I can translate to others that confident and sexy does not have to be a certain type. You find that from within and turn it outward.
Have you always been the outgoing type?
Not at all. I grew up a very shy boy who went to Catholic school and was always a little different. I did not fit in with the mainstream crowd.
High school isn’t exactly the kindest time. How did you leave the “shy boy”?
I discovered music and theater early on and found comfort in singing and performing on stage. It was an escape that helped me gain confidence and become someone else.
You seem pretty comfortable in your own skin now.
Over the years, as I got older and started discovering myself and who I really was, I finally started meeting others like me who had the same underwear fetishes, turn ons, and likes. I realized that not only was I normal, but it was a pretty common thing for men, gay and straight alike.
To have an underwear fetish you mean?
It’s no strange occurrence to have a gay man with an underwear fetish, but honestly it took me years to finally be at a place where I felt comfortable expressing myself with it.
Can you tell us more about your love for underwear?
I’ve had a huge underwear fetish since I was a young boy discovering colored briefs, low rise bikinis, and thongs in local discount department stores and eventually catalogs. I have always been obsessed with the hot styles, the way they look and feel and make me feel. Seeing other hot guys in them in catalogs, online…almost drives me more wild than seeing them naked.
What kind of effect has your fetish had on relationships?
It’s a little bit of a challenge when your partner isn’t necessarily into underwear as much as you are or could care less. They don’t understand why you spend so much on a pair, or why you are wearing something so fancy for no reason, or that it turns you on sexually. So for years, it was literally a hidden secret fantasy of mine and something I was almost embarrassed of.
You’re very open about it now, though. What changed?
Well it turns out that my current partner has the same underwear fetish. We met almost 3 years ago. Through him, I’ve been able to set fears aside, give in to all of my likes and desires and just be me. I am proud of who I am and underwear is a huge part of how I express myself.
I imagine working in retail keeps you up to speed on the latest styles.
I care more about what underwear I am wearing than anything else.